Saturday, October 14, 2006
for years i have listened and heard when many thought i talked more than i listened. i have amazed myself more than anyone else by recalling very minute details and nuances of people and events and sometimes may have come across as an unfortunate tale spinner.
so why do I remember these many nothings and when major those things have sublimed cleverly from the mind? i think the mind just photographed and trapped those moments. for the Outsiders if i could replay my images what value shall it hold? at that instant the voice of the speaker gruffens , the surrounding becomes a vacuum and the person is viewed with a wide telescopic and microscopic lense simulateously. the whole event is as surreal as the dream just before you wake up sometimes with no jolts, no surprise, with a heart portending apcalypse. clinically calm like an assassin. for me the visions revealed the Uriah Heeps, the Pips and the poor Elves. some moments, very fleetingly denude the facade many wear. i too don some on different occasions and I wonder how many times and in what instant has someone seen a lot through a crack of something fantastically nothing.
oh, the pain to discover conciet, deciet, greed, lust, niggardly gnomes, gutter rats, alley cats and the unchallenged wicked! the itch to pull off the charade. the battle in the mind with still a sliver of self doubt about the discovered that eschews the declaration first to the self and then to the Outsiders.
if only i had a screen where someone could predict the dimension where my mask would fail.
i am so wicked, but did you know our little secret?...... you must know that you are too.