Thursday, May 21, 2009
Easy...so very much!!!
This morning as i walked into our team room, I see one colleague trying to solve a puzzle. She had to arrange four small parts to build a "T". She figured it out eventually. While she was doing it, she was thinking furiously. When she finished and I took it up, she was trying hard not to prod but could not help looking at what i was trying to do. And when the next person tried after me, I tried not to be too smug. This is it. Its a small dynamic really. Once u are amidst things, u try to make way and make things happen for yourself. Once u have it all figured out, u lose patience when others try to figure it out. If we all realise this and hold the impatience at bay, a lot many issues can solve eventually. It seems wise to let people figure out their way. They may take a while but they will get their bit done. Once they are done, you may be blamed that u never helped and even if you helped u may not get the credit. But the best deal out of the whole thing is, you are never expected to help again. One reason is that the other person realizes you will not really help him or her. More importantly the person is now confident in doing things himself or herself. However, there is one small injecture here, the confidence in the other person who is trying to learn, grows when the experienced onlooker in trying to be constructive while being patient. Any negative blow at this nascent stage of trying can be detrimental. What also can work at times is a detached approach with a light touch of encouragement. Detachment helps the other person to be self serving and encouragement is seen as an opposite to hostility. This combination helps a beginner more often that not. The world would have been ideal if aware and apprised people set up beginners for success and not failure. But then aware and apprised people may reflect brilliance only on the surface. Deep down they could and perhaps do harbour fear of losing out to someone else. Hence that false sense of bravado and that ridiculous one-upmanship.